All posts by Amy Segreti

Stuck In A Suffering-Healing Cycle? Here’s What’s Really Going On

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I advocate for taking 100% responsibility for our realities and relationships.

However, this belief has sometimes had the interesting effect of causing me to accept behavior that feels truly emotionally abusive and narcissistic.

In fact, these “spiritual” beliefs, when misunderstood, can actually disempower people and encourage them to stay in relationships that are unhealthy.

Our “conscious” wisdom tells us we should stay in partnerships that trigger us because they are good for us.

Because through them we can heal our primary caretaker wounds, our attachment issues, our childhood traumas, our [insert your favorite self-help term here].

Because we should be able to accept and love what’s showing up for us, and if not, well—we’re not “doing our work.”

(But wait—don’t say “should!”)

I am here to say: Fuck. That.

Elizabeth DiAlto speaks to this more eloquently when she distinguishes between resistance vs. dissonance.

“In the self-help and personal development world, there is so much emphasis on owning your side of things, noticing your triggers, etc. And we sometimes internalize and put pressure on ourselves to get okay with things or to lean into things that just simply aren’t healthy for us. And we override knowing better for ourselves,” she says.

“Whereas resistance begs inquiry, dissonance does not. Dissonance says: ‘not for you, move on.’ When something is healthy for you, it’s useful or productive in some way. Which means in no way is it punishing, self-sacrificial nor does it constantly trigger you into coping or dissociative behavior.”

So, guess what.

You don’t have to suffer to heal your issues.

Hardship? Sure.

Feeling and inquiring into your pain? Of course.

Conflict that results in discovery and deepening and doesn’t diminish your light and life? Yes!

But, staying in continual patterns of suffering to “heal your wounds” is simply another form of self-punishment.

This can be threaded back to unhealthy societal patterns we learned through religion, our parents, instilled “martyr” syndrome, etc.

You might think you’re being super spiritual and strong, but you’re actually buying into the same Type-A, aggressive, overly masculinized culture we were raised in—your ego has just tricked you to think it’s for the sake of “evolution.”

It’s a trap.

You don’t have to suffer to heal your issues.

Unless you believe that you do.

Then, fuck. You definitely do.

P.S. This is something I have to relearn over and over again. Sending you hugs if you’re in it. 💜 Let me know if I can help get you out of it.

What Breaks Your Heart Is A Clue To Your Purpose

I love noticing what breaks my heart lately.

What makes me feel deeply and intensely shakes up my inner compass, giving me information that leads me deeper into my sense of purpose.

Today at a café, I watched a little boy tell his mom that he felt sad about an interaction he just had. Her response was to tell him to “toughen up” and that he “needed to get over it” immediately.

He whimpered for another few seconds as she continued to berate him (while also tapping on her phone), then he stood up and said, “Okay. I’m over it.”

He was clearly not over it. He just shoved it down.

Why do we have to tell our kids (our boys?) to toughen up, to suppress, to not feel their feelings?

Now, this is all said with the caveat that I have no idea what was going on with this mom/son dynamic—maybe he does this all the time and the mom is fed-up, maybe there are a thousand other elements to the situation that meant that yes, this was the best response she could have had.

What is important for me to know is the response it stirred in me.

And that is:

I want to live in a world where we don’t suppress our feelings.

I want to live in a world where it’s safe to share, have and feel them deeply, alone and with others—and where we are taught this from a young age.

I believe this leads to true connection with ourselves and others, and ultimately less fear, loneliness and violence in the world.

So: What’s breaking your heart lately? How can it lead you to healing—whether for yourself or for others?

Apprenticing with Grief: Writing Poetry for Healing

A beautiful exercise I’m doing as I move through a period filled with dark nights of the soul is to take an evaluation of the work and creativity I want to bloom into.

While I find it close to impossible to focus on work, I can zero in on themes and topics that I STILL feel passionate about even when everything else is falling away—those are the true gems.

Those are the ideas, businesses and stories that stick with me at both (incredibly valuable) ends of my emotional spectrum: when I’m bubbling over with happiness AND when I’m doubled over with grief.

Those speak to my core values and what is meaningful to me in the world, no matter where I sit, bounce or writhe emotionally.

Do you know what those gems are for you?

One of mine might surprise you.

It’s: Writing poetry.

I’ve written a lot of poetry and poetic prose that I keep private. But now, as I’m feeling into an incredibly raw, vulnerable and alive state in my life, I’m being called to share some poems here.

Here is what Grief called me to write, for and through me:

————————————————————

What am I up to? cannot be answered
on the same planet on which
you asked.

I am becoming intimate
with the fabric and texture of
grief—

from its wild hair to its
tender belly, its raging waters
and swollen fires—

the dance of it in
every part of my body
every part
attracting her own healing

I am up to this,
to flying and floating and
falling in and out of every
hollow carving I made
inside myself

I am exploring them all
and look! I am finding
Selves
humming in the dark.

Why have you been hiding?
I ask them.

They quiver.

You put me here,
they tell me.
Can we come out now?
We have songs for you.

Yes, yes you can.

—Amy Segreti

Manifesting Gifts & Parking Spots But Not Actual Money? Here’s How To Shift That

manifest parking spots not money lucky bitch money bootcamp

Last year, I suffered from Parking Spot Syndrome.

Perhaps you’ve heard of it? If not, allow me to paint a picture for you—

Scene: New-Age hipsters drive to a trendy new spot with a conscious DJ and jun on tap—but wait! Where to park?

“It’s okay, we’ll manifest a parking spot!” one says. What does that mean? To some, it means actually visualizing someone leaving a prime spot, and holding that open space for their car.

It can also mean not a damn thing at all.

I’m not knocking using the Law of Attraction to secure a parking spot. But, if the “parking spot” vibration level is where you’re primarily utilizing your manifestation skill… what are you not using it on?

Continue reading Manifesting Gifts & Parking Spots But Not Actual Money? Here’s How To Shift That

Six Unique & Deep Tarot Decks to Tap Into Your Truth

unique deep tarot decks

As you probably know by now, learning about and divining with Tarot cards has been a potent and powerful way for me to stay connected to my Truth and essence this year.

If you haven’t grabbed up this free Tarot resource I created, I gathered up some spreads I personally use and specific questions (phrasing is so important!) to ask your cards.

Access my FREE tarot spreads + questions instantly:


Onward to my six favorite decks, shall we?

Continue reading Six Unique & Deep Tarot Decks to Tap Into Your Truth

Fresh Ideas For a Flourishing Feminine Morning Routine (Update to ENJOY)

morning routine for women, flourishing feminine routine, enjoy morning routine

A while back, I’d written about my morning routine called ENJOY; a structured but free-flowing way to start your day with ease and grace—while also remaining on task and not in a space of stagnation.

Many women have reflected to me how much they love ENJOY-ing their way into their day—but, as time has passed and I’ve practiced this more and more, I now have fresh ideas for how to ENJOY.

Continue reading Fresh Ideas For a Flourishing Feminine Morning Routine (Update to ENJOY)

The Ridiculously Simple Thing You Can Do to Double Your Income

The Ridiculously Simple Thing You Can Do To Double Your Income

It’s official: In January 2017, I’ve made more than double what I normally make in a month.

This means that I am… ::deep breath:: on track to make six figures this year.

(Close to. $98,832k, to be exact.)

How did I do this?

Did I work twice as much? Did I spend twice as much time answering emails? Did I have half as much free time playing with my love and my tarot cards?

No. I did one simple thing, and it made all the difference.

Continue reading The Ridiculously Simple Thing You Can Do to Double Your Income

Harness Your Body Wisdom: The Four Phases of Your Cycle

harness body wisdom phases menstrual cycle

While attending The Artemis School in 2016 to become a certified women’s sex educator, I learned a lot about how women can deeply tap into our cycles for creativity, nourishment and greater alignment in our entire lives—from work to play, and everything in between.

I want to share this with the ladies (and gents) who don’t know.

First: We don’t just “have our period,” and the rest of the month is a steady “not on our period” time.

We actually have four distinct phases in our menstrual cycle—and they are characterized not only by bleeding/not bleeding, but hormonal shifts, bodily shifts, energy shifts and cervical fluid (to name a few). (Interested in how you can tap into your cycles for greater creativity? Scroll down to download my FREE Moon Cycle Work Flow sheet.)

Continue reading Harness Your Body Wisdom: The Four Phases of Your Cycle