Tag Archives: authenticity

How to Make an Argument Diffuser Box for Your Relationship

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Good news, guys! Since my video I published last week, I’ve learned some bare-bones basic techniques in Final Cut Pro, so this video has way less “ums” than it originally did.

If you don’t really believe me since there are still enough “ums” in it to make a drinking game, that’s fine. (I recommend Spanish cider, since it’s 4% ABV. Have fun!)

But really, this post is very meaningful to me.

In this video, I show how I made an Argument Diffuser Box for my relationship—and how you can easily make one too from materials you probably have lying around the house (and if you don’t, I’ve included where you can find some pretty ones below).

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The Argument Diffuser Box is filled with decorated mini-exercises, all rolled up and tied with twine, designed to be plucked from their home when in the midst of a fight or heated discussion.

I authored all of the cards and exercises myself, but a lot of them were inspired from some of my favorite books (listed below the video) on intentional partnership.

The cards are fun and light-hearted, and inspire you to get out of your lizard brain and back into love, play and affection.

I explain much more about them in the video. Enjoy!

Now: Make Your Own!

For the box:

I used a mini-suitcase from a teddy bear my boyfriend gave me a long time ago that I saved because I had a feeling it could be re-used. :) But here are some great ones if you want to go ahead and make it look extra pretty and intentional:

For the notes (cards + writing):

I had some blank business cards from Muji that I hadn’t used, so I stuck with a brown, rustic, natural motif for the entire thing and drew some colorful designs inside the cards. If you want to make things more colorful or cute:

For the wrapping:

At first I thought about just folding the cards up, and then realized that was the most boring thought I’d ever had. Tie them up in style!

Show Notes

Books I Mention (Also My Top 5 Relationship Books):
Also:
  • Sorry my apartment is messy! Tony and I just moved in together and we’re working out storage issues. :)
  • By “epitaph” I meant “epigraph,” and that’s why I’m a writer, not a pronouncer.
  • I’d love to have a Conscious Partnership Development chat with you, anytime.
  • What do you think of my box? Want one? Let me know in a comment!

I’m Discontinuing My Coaching and Course. Here’s Why.

I want to write you an honest letter about “coaching.”

It seems to me that the word has become diluted.

In some forms, coaching has become another way sell a quick fix—to sell the belief that if you pay for an hour of coaching, what you want to be “fixed” will automatically be fixed.

First of all, that’s a lot of pressure on a coach! Second of all, it’s practically impossible.

Anyone who tells you they can transform your life in 60 minutes is selling you a lie.

And, it might not be on purpose. There are people you can spend an hour with who can completely shift your perspective, calling you to your gifts and how to live your life through them, showcase them and offer them up for value in the world…

But that still takes work, time and energy after the session is over.

Someone looking for an hour-long quick fix with no additional input or intention afterward is not going to find what they’re looking for.

Because the only person who can transform your life is you.

And so, in an effort to dive into and evaluate this, I’m putting my one-time coaching and current course on indefinite hold.

Why?

I want to offer more value to people, I want to put less pressure on myself, and I want to feel valued in what I’m offering—to the point where I don’t have to constantly market or cobble together one-time clients to make an income for myself.

Besides, for most coaches, a one-hour session isn’t just that hour. It’s at least an hour of preparation beforehand, perhaps sending a client a questionnaire and reviewing it, perhaps more. Then, it’s maybe 30 minutes each way of transit time to and from the session if it’s in-person (a lot of mine are). Then, it’s another hour of writing and curating a follow-up email with action steps, strategies and notes from our session as a keepsake.

That’s four hours minimum of work, not counting the marketing to reach that client.

I also often discount my one-time session coaching (another dilution I’m stopping), depending on the circumstances.

Which often means I end up not feeling valued, because I’m not valuing my work at the level I need to be. And this translates to the client not receiving optimal value either.

This work is valuable, but I have little space to do it if I’m worrying about making a sale every time I send an email.

So. I’m discontinuing my coaching and current course indefinitely.

And I’m offering a one-price package in case you want to grab them before I take them offline on Jan. 1.

One price. Three things. No other options.

You’ll get:

  1. My Manifest Like a Mofo 9-week online course (Cost: $188)
  2. A 60-min Coaching Session to be used before Jan. 15, 2016 (Cost: $200)
  3. My Holistic Day Design Productivity Atlas* (Cost: $21)

That totals to $409.

Right now, you can grab all three for $177. You can also gift them to someone.

coaching package 2015Here’s the only link to grab the $177 package. That’s my final offer.

Also, if you don’t use your coaching session before Jan. 15, 2016, it will disappear into the ether (which is the same place it will go if you aren’t ready to put in the work after the session is over). :)

(*I am going to keep offering my Holistic Day Design packet and my Revive & Strategize Weekend, but those will be undergoing some major renovations in the coming months.)

I cannot even explain how freeing and exciting and nerve-wracking this feels inside me. How terrifying, really. I’m someone who believes in money channels. That money flows through us via channels, and we can turn them on and off… And, I ask myself: Do I really want to close off this channel? What if another one doesn’t open up?

And yet… I can’t help noticing the feeling of freedom and aliveness writing this to you.

So, I’m doing it.

To open up to new ways of being and offering, and really focusing on what I want to share and create that can be of immense value.

Here’s to an amazing 2016.

Unveiling The “Live All of You” Interview Series

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For the last two years and change, I’ve been doing personal interviews with vibrant, successful entrepreneurs, creatives and independents who are living all of themselves in the world.

Aligned with their truth, these people are weaving magic in the universe, helping others and coming alive—every single day.

My specifications? I sought out people who are truly showing up and expressing their full, authentic selves—no matter how messy or shadowy—in the world.

Inspired by “The Way I Work and “How I Work” columns in Inc. and Lifehacker, the Live All of You Interview Series will focus on play/purpose integration and insight into what it means to live fully and attract what we deeply desire in life, work and love.

I believe that feeling fully expressed in our body, spirit and soul is the secret to living our greatest life. And these entrepreneurs, writers, teachers, coaches, explorers, and leaders prove it—every day.

Continue reading Unveiling The “Live All of You” Interview Series

What gives our purchases meaning?

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It’s Black Friday, and my partner and I have Apple fatigue. We purchased three Apple products online today, as gifts for ourselves and for others.

In dialogue through these transactions, we felt an eclectic mixture of tension, stress, excitement and guilt. I started to question my specific purchase and asked him for help. He brought up to me the idea of excess, which for me translates to not feeling worthy of things and learning how to receive—but for him, it was more a conversation of not wanting to buy anything he wouldn’t actively use for fear of “waste.”

Continue reading What gives our purchases meaning?

Renewing Your Relationship Driver’s License | Avocado Mornings #3

Happy Thursday! It’s Avocado Mornings, Episode Three. This week I talk about why it’s important to renew your commitment to your relationship—or rather, your license to continue driving it forward (fun phrasing!). Read the post below, listen to me talk about it, or both.

Here’s the audio link (will open in a new tab): Renewing Your Relationship Driver’s License

You know that feeling when you first move to a city or travel somewhere, and everything around you is so vibrant, so checkered with possibility?

Then as time passes, the wonder starts to fade into the background. It’s like the way you start not seeing things in your home, like something on top of a bookcase or a painting on the wall. When you move out, you might not even remember these things until the walls are bare, because you can hardly see them anymore. They melt into part of a structure that you rely on. And, that you can take for granted if you’re not careful.

We get used to things. We accustom. And this I think, is the most important thing we need to focus on in relationships. In fact, I think it can single-handedly be responsible for killing great relationships.

Continue reading Renewing Your Relationship Driver’s License | Avocado Mornings #3