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How to Make an Argument Diffuser Box for Your Relationship

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Good news, guys! Since my video I published last week, I’ve learned some bare-bones basic techniques in Final Cut Pro, so this video has way less “ums” than it originally did.

If you don’t really believe me since there are still enough “ums” in it to make a drinking game, that’s fine. (I recommend Spanish cider, since it’s 4% ABV. Have fun!)

But really, this post is very meaningful to me.

In this video, I show how I made an Argument Diffuser Box for my relationship—and how you can easily make one too from materials you probably have lying around the house (and if you don’t, I’ve included where you can find some pretty ones below).

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The Argument Diffuser Box is filled with decorated mini-exercises, all rolled up and tied with twine, designed to be plucked from their home when in the midst of a fight or heated discussion.

I authored all of the cards and exercises myself, but a lot of them were inspired from some of my favorite books (listed below the video) on intentional partnership.

The cards are fun and light-hearted, and inspire you to get out of your lizard brain and back into love, play and affection.

I explain much more about them in the video. Enjoy!

Now: Make Your Own!

For the box:

I used a mini-suitcase from a teddy bear my boyfriend gave me a long time ago that I saved because I had a feeling it could be re-used. :) But here are some great ones if you want to go ahead and make it look extra pretty and intentional:

For the notes (cards + writing):

I had some blank business cards from Muji that I hadn’t used, so I stuck with a brown, rustic, natural motif for the entire thing and drew some colorful designs inside the cards. If you want to make things more colorful or cute:

For the wrapping:

At first I thought about just folding the cards up, and then realized that was the most boring thought I’d ever had. Tie them up in style!

Show Notes

Books I Mention (Also My Top 5 Relationship Books):
Also:
  • Sorry my apartment is messy! Tony and I just moved in together and we’re working out storage issues. :)
  • By “epitaph” I meant “epigraph,” and that’s why I’m a writer, not a pronouncer.
  • I’d love to have a Conscious Partnership Development chat with you, anytime.
  • What do you think of my box? Want one? Let me know in a comment!

2014: Today I’m.

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In 2014, I set intentions.

I am going to love harder, but not need hard love.

I am going to be fluid in a way that doesn’t belittle the beauty of discipline.

I am going to understand better my boundaries, my edges, my swinging pendulums, my centers.

I am going to let indulgence be just that, and take full pleasure in its fleeting nature.

I am going to be patient and hold my fire, knowing that holding it doesn’t temper me, but strengthens me.

I am going to know myself better, but not let that quest become an excuse for isolation and intolerance of others.

I am going to get out of my own way and allow myself to be incandescent.

I am going to let appreciation melt into reverence.

Happy New Year, everyone.

On Making Room for Possibility

I was talking with my friend Sylvia about the cozy, gorgeous, one-bedroom apartment on Pearl Street in Boulder that I want. It’s effectively double what I’ve ever paid for rent in my life.

I told her this, and then immediately remarked how if I didn’t get it, well, I had always wanted to travel during the Winter… which is true, and still mostly true. But I’ve been needing a nest so much more as I grow and expand. A mother home. A cocoon.

She replied that I need to believe I deserve it.

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Continue reading On Making Room for Possibility

The Epic Skyline of Home

I’m back in Boulder now, riding my bicycle, doing yoga, sipping single-origin espresso, writing poetry, interviewing amazing people, sharing wine and dinner with girlfriends. It’s crisp but sunny, summer’s digestif.

It’s hearty, life here, and I can’t imagine tearing myself from it. In a traveling way, sure—in a permanent displacement way, no. Not yet. When I’m here, I can create a reflection of what I see around me—bliss, growth, magic—and store it inside myself as feeling. But, I find I have to keep coming back to recharge it.

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Continue reading The Epic Skyline of Home