I’d been working on embracing my Athlete Archetype for a few months now. An archetype represents some aspect of what you are or identify with. In Jungian terms, archetypes are models of people’s behaviors or personality traits.
For example: Today I was at lunch reading Born to Run by Christopher McDougall, in which there are such amazing lines as this:
“Running seemed to be the fitness version of drunk driving: you could get away with it for a while, you might even have some fun, but catastrophe was waiting right around the corner.”
The server saw me reading it and asked excitedly if I was a runner.
“Well, I run,” I replied. “I don’t know that I’d call myself a runner.”
I’m a writer. I’m a traveler. I’m a dancer. I’m an editor. These are things I know and can say with confidence.
But one of the things I’ve most wanted to say lately (especially after witnessing the world’s largest Ironman race in Boulder last week, cuz damn) is: I am an athlete.
Continue reading Today, I Am an Athlete. (Wait, Am I?)
I’ve been reading some fabulous World Domination Summit 2014-afterglow blog posts (such as this by Jedd Chang, this from Erin Harding, and this by Derek Murphy). In synthesizing and processing what WDS meant to me, I decided to bring something different to the table based on the overarching theme I kept hearing at WDS, which is:
Always be asking questions.
Here are four questions I’m asking myself, inspired by the conference. Answering these is helping me to start making shifts in my business and life—maybe they’ll be of help to you, too.
Continue reading Four Important Questions to Ask Your Entrepreneurial Self (from the Experts at WDS)
Upper limiting has been called the “only problem we need to solve,” whether we’re talking about relationships, business or personal goals.
Some of our generation’s hardcore thought leaders have written about the Upper-Limit Problem, from Marie Forleo to Gay Hendricks to Mastin Kipp.
Basically, when we’ve pushed through to a higher threshold—which could be anything from an intimacy breakthrough with your partner to a raise at work—our inner alarm bells go off and we begin to sabotage our success. This could come in many forms, from starting an argument to getting sick to forgetting to do something you committed to.
But here’s the thing: we ebb and we flow. Sometimes we’re making progress and sometimes we’re at a healthy resting state, working to integrate the new levels we’ve unlocked. When we’re flowing and soaring higher and higher, we’re watchful for our subconscious to bring out our upper limiting behavior.
But—what can we do when we’re ebbing? When we’re stagnant and haven’t felt much push or drive in our lives for a day, a week, a month? We should start lower limiting.
Continue reading Start Lower Limiting
I’m deep into leading my Manifest Like a Mofo group, and today we’re hitting on one of the hardest themes: taking responsibility for how you create your life.
When I read this in Conscious Loving (one of my bibles for life) by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, it floored me:
It’s simple to find out what you’re committed to—just look at the results you’re creating.
Gay elaborates on this in Conscious Living: He says that every time we’re faced with a choice, we can either take healthy responsibility or blame someone or something else. Each time we avoid responsibility, we claim victimhood.
Being a victim means we have no choice, we’re not in control, and we aren’t choosing our moments.
The idea that we choose our reality is an intense concept to step into if you haven’t been here before (and even if you have). It can bring up a lot of denial, fear, self-righteousness and anger.
Continue reading You’re Committed to What You’re Getting: Making New Agreements
False freedom wants to be free because she feels squelched by intimacy.
True freedom holds loosely, giving her partners freedom, knowing their freedom only enhances her own.
False freedom does not hold onto any kind of relationship for long, for fear that it will limit her.
True freedom does not fear limitation, because she knows it can’t possibly exist if she exists.
False freedom operates under a credence of self-righteousness. She kicks and shouts when she is not heard.
Continue reading The Difference Between False Freedom and True Freedom
Here in my pretty mountain city, we’re experiencing the 100-Year Flood. President Obama has called in federal disaster relief. FEMA is here. The National Guard helicopters whir over my head. The constant rain has a bone-thinning effect inside of me. I feel weak, frail, tepid.
Here’s the thing with natural disasters: You can turn down one street, and it looks like a sunny day filled with bikers, and then you turn the corner and there’s a river flowing out of someone’s house.
I am safe and dry. But I’ve been wracked with emotional turmoil for days, trying to give gentle support in a way that feels right to me. For others who are safe and warm in Boulder, I can’t stress this enough: We don’t need to feel guilty about not having our homes flooded. That kind of energy is restrictive; we can almost feel it choking us.
We have an excellent opportunity to practice holding our own boundaries while still being open to receiving others empathetically.
We restore balance by bringing our positive energy to those who need it most—which doesn’t mean we all need to bury ourselves under sewage, further endangering the entire community.
Whatever support—gentle, nourishing, spiritual—we can give is best given with 100% intention to heal. Which includes being healing to ourselves.
Continue reading An Ode to Boulder in Autumn
The thing that gets me into sticky spots in relationships is often in regards to freedom. I crave it, I grow from it, and I structure my life around it. I’ve gone through many positive experiences with partners and freedom… and I’ve also gone through all the negative patterns that cause relationships to fail—withholding, projecting, concealing, controlling, etc. What I’ve been working with most is figuring out how to heal the threat I feel when I fear someone wants to limit my freedom, particularly the freedom to express myself fully.
Perhaps though, if we find we’re constantly coming up against the challenge of needing the same thing again and again from others (for me, permission to be free and express myself) and feeling frustrated that we’re not getting it—maybe we need to live that aspect of ourselves more. We need to give ourselves the freedom to be first, before we can expect full acceptance from others.
Continue reading The One Question to Ask When You Feel Stuck in Relationship
He was asking her if she thought she would stay here forever.
“I think sometimes that I want to get out of New York,” he was saying, the way people do when traveling, “but I don’t know if I want to leave in a way where I don’t have access to it anymore.”
I was sitting in the booth behind this pair at a Nepalese restaurant in the small mountain town of Nederland, Colo., the sweet potato masala melting along my tongue like hot marshmallows.
“I’m not sure if I’ll stay here forever,” the woman replied. I couldn’t see her face, but her voice sounded deep, wooded with experience. “I just know that I wake up every morning and I feel so…”
She paused. “Sane.”
I watched her titter her head from side to side in laughter—her white hair not a rigid nest but filled with movement, a puffed dandelion globe allowing light to flow through it. Her neck moved with a lengthy suppleness, like she’d spent her life looking in many different directions.
Continue reading Why I Stayed: From the East Coast to Colorado