I went to an intense yoga class with my teacher two days ago. Everyone felt it; I know this because he said toward the end: “Seven more minutes of class, guys.” And everyone laughed. Because damn, we were all wondering.
In the beginning of class, he shared with us something that resonated with him via one of his teachers, Erich Schiffmann:
In every moment, you’re either connecting to Source or reiterating the ignorance of the ego.
It danced over my skin when he said it.
Throughout class, I thought about it. I thought about how much I was seeing the appearance of ego in my own life lately, and in particular my relationship.
I had been making everything about me. I pointed out to my partner that even the simplest thing he was saying—she’s really really smart, for example—was triggering me. Wasn’t I really smart, too? Yes. Do I want to crawl into a shame hole for even admitting to thinking this way? Yes.
Continue reading Ignore Your Ego? Maybe It’s Worth a Listen
Happy Thursday! It’s Avocado Mornings, Episode Three. This week I talk about why it’s important to renew your commitment to your relationship—or rather, your license to continue driving it forward (fun phrasing!). Read the post below, listen to me talk about it, or both.
Here’s the audio link (will open in a new tab): Renewing Your Relationship Driver’s License
You know that feeling when you first move to a city or travel somewhere, and everything around you is so vibrant, so checkered with possibility?
Then as time passes, the wonder starts to fade into the background. It’s like the way you start not seeing things in your home, like something on top of a bookcase or a painting on the wall. When you move out, you might not even remember these things until the walls are bare, because you can hardly see them anymore. They melt into part of a structure that you rely on. And, that you can take for granted if you’re not careful.
We get used to things. We accustom. And this I think, is the most important thing we need to focus on in relationships. In fact, I think it can single-handedly be responsible for killing great relationships.
Continue reading Renewing Your Relationship Driver’s License | Avocado Mornings #3
The thing that gets me into sticky spots in relationships is often in regards to freedom. I crave it, I grow from it, and I structure my life around it. I’ve gone through many positive experiences with partners and freedom… and I’ve also gone through all the negative patterns that cause relationships to fail—withholding, projecting, concealing, controlling, etc. What I’ve been working with most is figuring out how to heal the threat I feel when I fear someone wants to limit my freedom, particularly the freedom to express myself fully.
Perhaps though, if we find we’re constantly coming up against the challenge of needing the same thing again and again from others (for me, permission to be free and express myself) and feeling frustrated that we’re not getting it—maybe we need to live that aspect of ourselves more. We need to give ourselves the freedom to be first, before we can expect full acceptance from others.
Continue reading The One Question to Ask When You Feel Stuck in Relationship