I love noticing what breaks my heart lately.
What makes me feel deeply and intensely shakes up my inner compass, giving me information that leads me deeper into my sense of purpose.
Today at a café, I watched a little boy tell his mom that he felt sad about an interaction he just had. Her response was to tell him to “toughen up” and that he “needed to get over it” immediately.
He whimpered for another few seconds as she continued to berate him (while also tapping on her phone), then he stood up and said, “Okay. I’m over it.”
He was clearly not over it. He just shoved it down.
Why do we have to tell our kids (our boys?) to toughen up, to suppress, to not feel their feelings?
Now, this is all said with the caveat that I have no idea what was going on with this mom/son dynamic—maybe he does this all the time and the mom is fed-up, maybe there are a thousand other elements to the situation that meant that yes, this was the best response she could have had.
What is important for me to know is the response it stirred in me.
And that is:
I want to live in a world where we don’t suppress our feelings.
I want to live in a world where it’s safe to share, have and feel them deeply, alone and with others—and where we are taught this from a young age.
I believe this leads to true connection with ourselves and others, and ultimately less fear, loneliness and violence in the world.
So: What’s breaking your heart lately? How can it lead you to healing—whether for yourself or for others?